<center> I was the happiest girl ever. I enjoyed life much more than I did now. Instead of looking at the ground while I walked, I looked to the sky. Instead of tuning the world out, I listened to the people and things around me. Instead of pushing people away, I was meeting so many new people. But most of all, instead of feeling empty and lost, i was full of love and had my future in my hands.

It's almost been a year, and yet I still hurt and am torn like this whole thing happened yesterday. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to in life anymore..nothing to keep me happy.

I used to smile all the time and be giddy and so full of life. Now, I put on this fake smile and use fake emotions to mask how I truly feel inside. It honestly angers me that I have to do this. And furthermore, angers me that I can't express how I truly feel inside without someone telling me to just get over it and changing the subject.

I watch the people that I once spent all of my time with live their lives to the fullest and are out partying, and actually having MONEY to do things. Bragging about how much their boyfriends love them and how their husbands are amazing.

Last year... I had all of that..

This year.....nothing.


Unless you have had the same thing happened to you and you are going through the similar things that I am, then you have no right in saying anything at all... but listening. Just listening to what I have to say.